Today, another very simple yet important self-esteem exercise. After you looked at your accomplishments last week, this time, it’s about remembering a time when you felt really good about yourself.
Feeling good is important. Maybe you say: ‘Duh, yeah. What a surprise.’
But there’s really too many people in this world who don’t live their life according to this statement. Specially those with low self-esteem.
If you don’t hold yourself in high regad, you aren’t as motivated to take good care of yourself – not just in a physical way, but also in an emotional way.
And there’s a very simple way to take care of yourself: engage in a meaningful activity, and do it with people you like.
Pretty much everything else is just a substitute to fulfill your basic human desire to do something that means something to you, and to belong to a group of people who you like.
So think about it: when did you feel really good about yourself? Think about that moment. Try to remember that sensation in as much detail as possible. And also remember what caused you to feel that way: was it what someone else said to you? Was it something that you did, or accomplished?
Really, a very simple question, yet, one that holds a lot of answers about yourself to questions you might have never asked – but provides you with insights about yourself that are important if you want to build a healthy sense of self-esteem.
Today I have a very simple and basic self-esteem exercise for you. But don’t be fooled by its modest appearance: it is all the more powerful.
Think about your accomplishments in life. What have you achieved in your life?
Make all of your accomplishments count – at least all that you can think of. Both the big ones and the small ones – and those in between.
Maybe you haven’t built a school in Africa – but if you put a smile on a sad person’s face, that’s an accomplishment. And you should see it as such! Making other people feel better is a great accomplishment.
If you got up today in the morning at the time that you planned to get up – even that’s an accomplishment. And you’d be surprised how many people don’t manage to do that.
Do you have a job? That’s an accomplishment. Because you’re doing something. You’re providing value. Even if the job you’re in doesn’t feel fulfilling to you, try to see the good in it. I know a guy who works at an assembly line. Most assembly line workers hate their jobs – but he is actually having fun. He makes it a game to fulfill quotas, to break his own records, to work in a “zen-state of mind”. And the guy has a healthy self-esteem and lots of good friends – even though spending much of your life doing “mindless” work isn’t usually something that enhances self-esteem. (And did you notice? He puts his mind into this mindless work to make it more challening, and that’s why he’s not only not bored by his job but actually happy with it).
Do you have friends? If so, that’s an accomplishment that you should definitely use to feed your self-esteem. If someone else – despite all their egoistical needs and desires – likes to share his or her time with you, then you must be providing them with something worthwhile. Maybe it’s just that you somehow make them feel better when you talk with them!
And if you are in a relationship – awesome! Someone decided to share their life with you in the most intimate way. Even if your relationship is not at the point where you want it to be – think about how many lonely souls are out there, wishing for what you already have. And if you recognize that the relationship you have is not the one you want, then that is an achievement too: because it opens the door to taking actions that will make your relationship even better. Or – and only you will know which way is the right way – it may finally lead you to the decision that this isn’t working at all and put an end to your relationship with that person, so that both you and your partner are free to find someone that matches you and them better.
This is a simple self-esteem exercise, for sure. But take 20 minutes out of your day and really dig into it.
